IFYL: Complaining Helps Reduce Stress

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Want to be happier, have better relationships, and live longer? Start COMPLAINING. According to Robin Kowalski, a psychologist from Clemson University, complaining can reduce stress, lower blood pressure, and help you bond with others. Sounds odd, but we all say things like “Can you believe this awful weather?” to start conversations. Who hasn’t felt better after telling someone about a bad boss or the jerk on the elevator? Now, no one likes a chronic complainer, but the occasional gripe session is good for you. In fact, sometimes it’s easier for people to bond over what they hate – like sushi or a sports team. It’s all part of the process of finding similarities, which is our natural human tendency. If you feel strongly about something you dislike, you might speak more passionately and be more engaging. So, here are some tips for complaining the healthy way, courtesy of Web MD:

• Be up front. Say, “I really need to vent. Do you have a minute?” Warning the other person stops them from feeling attacked.

• Set a time limit. No one wants to hear hours of kvetching. So get it off your chest, then move on to happier topics.

• Select the right listener. If your problem has a solution, for example, you’d like your kids to help with the laundry, talk to the guilty party. However, if something that can’t be fixed bothers you – like that bobble-head collection your spouse won’t get rid of – gripe to a third party. You’ll still get the stress reducing benefits, and you’ll save wear and tear on your relationship.

Bottom line: Complaining has a bad reputation, but if you’re up front about your issues, limit the time you spend talking about them, and choose your listeners wisely – your complaints will make you feel better. But just guess who won’t be complaining when you share this intel from The John Tesh Radio Show? YOUR FRIENDS!